All the World's A Garden

"That is all very well, little Alice," said her grandfather, "but there is a third thing you must do." "What is that?" asked Alice. "You must do something to make the world more beautiful," said her grandfather.
Miss Rumphius, Barbara Cooney

My mother is a gardener. From spring through fall, you can find her in her long pants, long sleeved shirt, and floppy straw hat, working in her garden. Eclectic and unpredictable, the garden winds and turns on a rocky, hilly, weedy piece of land that is difficult to manage. If the land itself did not present enough obstacles, there are the deer, chipmunks, and other wildlife to contend with. Plus, an in-ground sprinkler system is out of the question, and so my mother has devised a precisely choreographed sequence of manual lawn sprinklers for the hot summer days. Few people would have tackled this troublesome tract of land -- it is not a lush spot that calls out "garden me." And yet, under my mother's persevering hand and indomitable will, the land has yielded beautiful and fragrant flowers. People come to see this garden and marvel at how she has tamed the land, and created beauty in an unexpected place.

The garden says a lot about who my mother is, and the things she has taught me. She has always been determined and independent, marching to the beat of her own drum. Although she came of age and married in the 1950s, she was never content to "just" stay home. By the time I was 16, she had finished her dissertation and obtained her Ph.D., specializing in diagnosing and treating dyslexia long before it became known as a common learning disability. But when I look back on my childhood, what I remember most is her dedication to and love of the arts. I remember coming home to find her on her knees in the living room, acting out the death of Madame Butterfly. Unlike most children growing up in Brooklyn in the 1960s, I was as familiar with operas like La Traviata and Aida, and ballets like Giselle and Swan Lake, as I was with traditional children's fairy tales. While my friend's parents listened to Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett, I grew up listening to Mahler and Beethoven.

Once she retired from teaching, my mom's devotion to all things beautiful bloomed fully. She was able to actively pursue the Italian language and cooking classes she loved so much, and volunteer at the New York City Opera and Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. She has studied flower arranging -- making beautiful works of art out of the flowers she so dutifully tends. And she has added to her garden. Always one to notice and pay attention to an interesting view or a beautiful sunset, she has instilled in me the importance of pausing to see the beauty in the world around me. She has taught me that "if you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden." The Secret Garden

Thanks Mom.

Brahma, Vishnu, Dad

guru brahma guru vishnu guru devo maheswara, guru sakshat param brahma tasmai sri guruve namaha

To that teacher that is creation, to that teacher that is this very life, To that teacher that is all challenge and transformation, to that teacher within each of us, To that teacher beyond all things - formless and divine, I bow down and offer my life and efforts.

Last month, my father was inducted into the International Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. (who knew!) At a lovely luncheon at the Water Club, my dad was surrounded by family and friends, colleagues from the law, and partners and opponents from the many tennis courts he has played on over the last 60 years. As further evidence of my dad's loyal and gregarious spirit, even his internist, dentist, bankers, and former secretaries were there too.

In his speech, my dad said that he could not quite explain how he arrived at this time and place. He always did what he loved, whether it was his law practice, or the game of tennis, which he took up with great passion at age 18. And he always loved what he did.

Looking around the room, I thought about the seeds my dad had sown to be so successful in life -- not just in terms of material comforts, but in terms of his excellent health, athleticism, and most importantly, the joy and happiness he finds in life. He is in many ways an uncomplicated man with a big smile. Contentment is as much a part of his make-up as his skin or his breath.

His story is familiar but unique too: the son of immigrants who came to the United States with very little, he grew up in Brooklyn raising pigeons on the roof, playing basketball and street hockey with his friends. His group of 5 mischievous boys had a contest to see who could graduate from High School with the lowest GPA. My dad came in second. After high school, he worked on the Brooklyn docks. The work was hard, and so he decided to go to college even though he had no direction. In his second year, he took an aptitude test to try to figure out what to do in life. His guidance counselor said he should become an engineer, but when he found out that meant science and math classes, he decided to do the opposite and become a lawyer. Suddenly my dad found direction. He graduated from Brooklyn Law School in the top of his class and became Editor in Chief of the Brooklyn Law Review. (his friend who had "won" the High School delinquency contest became a professor of astrophysics at Harvard.) He married my mom, volunteered down South during the civil rights movement, went into private practice, and eventually became a plaintiff's lawyer, specializing in securities litigation. He picked up tennis in college and became as passionate about it as he did about the law. His true callings have always been his family, the law, and tennis, in no discernible order!

I have learned so much from my dad. He has always followed his heart with great passion. Despite becoming successful and "marrying up" (my mom's parents were cultured, first generation Americans, and my mom's dad was a lawyer -- my dad's parents were immigrants), the boy from Brooklyn stayed just that. Open always to all people from all walks of life, a defender of social justice and a friend of the underdog, he taught me that anything and everything is possible. He showed by example that being happy and content is our true nature, and that each experience we have is a teacher. He has approached life like a student in a big university, and the challenges he has met as his curriculum and teachers. Always learning, always an adventure.

Thanks dad.

Every Little Thing

Two weeks ago, I went to see The Scottsboro Boys, an amazing musical about a terrible tragedy in American history. Using the framework of a minstrel show, a terrifically talented cast of black actors and the irrepressible John Cullum tell the tragic tale of the repeated trials and convictions of nine black youths falsely accused of raping two white women in Alabama in the 1930s. At the final curtain, I was on my feet, tears streaming down my face, overcome by the thought of how much suffering humans inflict upon one another.

Although The Scottsboro Boys is about the racism of American whites against blacks, my tears were also for all the Jews killed by Christians, the Protestants killed by Catholics and vice-a-versa, Darfur, Somalia, Israelis and Palestinians, Muslims and Hindis, and on and on. It made me think about the fact that as long as humans have existed, we have found ways to classify ourselves in relation to others. Classification - dividing people into "us" and "them," is the first of the 8 stages of genocide, the ultimate and most extreme expression of prejudice and racism.

Why are there such extreme expressions of hatred in the world? The Yoga Sutras teach me that all of the violence I see in my world is caused by the way I have treated others in the past.

There is a connection of cause and effect: the seeds ripen into experiences refreshingly pleasant or painful in their torment; depending on whether you have done good to others or done them wrong instead. Book II.14

There is no option of separating myself from what I see. I can't blame it on someone else, or claim that it has nothing to do with me. My karma causes not only what I see, but the perception of the "me" who sees it. But I am a good person. I volunteer. I help others. I am kind and compassionate. How could the violence I see come from me? According to the commentary to the sutras:

It's crucial to realize that mental seeds act just like physical seeds. No one puts a corn seed into the ground and then stands there, expecting corn to pop up in a day or two. Mental seeds are planted in the mind simply by our being aware that we are doing, or saying, or thinking something toward someone else. Seeds enter the storehouse and wait to be called up, like airplanes standing in line to take off. The Essential Yoga Sutra, Geshe Michael Roach & Lama Christie McNally

So how does this connect to me and the violence I see in the world? Saturday, as I was leaving my house to teach yoga, I saw someone I know in town walking his dog. The thought flitted through my mind: "He's a bit peculiar." This was followed immediately by another thought: "He'd have to be to be odd to be married to __________ - she's such a character." I saw myself think these thoughts and immediately stopped short. Wasn't this a small way of classifying people as us (normal ones) and them (the odd ones)? And don't I/we think thoughts like this all day long? Just as a small acorn produces a giant oak tree, our small mental seeds manifest as much bigger experiences. Unchecked, these thoughts -- the thoughts I/we are thinking about others all day long -- grow into all the violence and hatred we see around us.

Here's the good news. It is possible to destroy these karmic seeds. 1. Recognize the ignorant/negative thought you have had. 2. Remorse: feel genuine remorse - not guilt - with the understanding that you are ultimately harming yourself. 3. Resolve: make a realistic resolution not to do this for a reasonable period of time - a few hours, a day, a week. 4. Remidiate: Take a positive action or thought to counteract the negative one. Do something nice for that person. Meditate on love and compassion, etc. 5. Absolve yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Just resolve to do better. (More on karma here.) Dedicate all of these steps to the negative seed and it will die.

And more good news: If you make it a way of life never to hurt others [and this includes thinking negative thoughts about others] then in your presence all conflict comes to an end. Yoga Sutras Book II.35.

Go see The Scottsboro Boys. It was incredibly well done and a story that should be heard. Watch your thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking ill of someone, stop and reflect. Maybe the reason that there is still conflict and prejudice in the world is because of the little thoughts we think all day long where we differentiate between "me" and "you," and "us" and "them. " And replace those thoughts with kindness and compassion. After all: We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.- Thich Nhat Hanh

• Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Bible: Galatians (6:7)
• Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same. Bible: Job (4:8)
• The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt. - Frederick Buechner
  

Mind Your Mind

Your experience of your life depends
on where you place your mind.
So place your mind with intention.
Be careful what you place in front of it.
Make wise choices about what you read, what you watch,
what you say, and what you do.
If you place violent images in front of your mind,
you will see them even when you try to turn your attention to peaceful things.
If you place loving, peaceful images in front of your mind,
this is where your mind will go.
Live simply and with few distractions.
Focus consciously.
Mind your mind.

Hearing the Voice

At a workshop recently with amazing Lama Kimberly Theresa, she said that people often wonder where God is. In the bible, it seemed like God was always talking to people - not just through visions but audibly so that anyone can hear. But where is he or she now? Lama K said that the "voice" is everywhere, if we just pay attention. It is in songs we hear over and over on the radio or can't get out of our minds. It is in recurring dreams, or passages that stand out to us in books. But we have to be "present" to hear it.

In biblical times, people didn't have facebook, twitter, computers, and all the other ways we distract ourselves. We like to think that we multitask, but really, we just fracture our attention. Multitasking is a myth. This was made apparent to me (again) as I drove my 3rd grader Samantha home on Friday from Alice In Wonderland (loved it!). She and her four friends wanted to listen to the Lion King in the car. They were all singing along, and then started talking about the movie. After a minute or two, Samy shouted out, "wow, I completely forgot we were listening to the Lion King while we were talking." All the other girls marvelled about that too. Luckily, I wasn't deep in thought about something else, and heard this comment.

The next morning, on my way to teach, I stopped to get a muffin. On the radio was the song Breathe (2AM). This is the part I tuned in to:

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

Then this morning, I was watching Field of Dreams with Samy. This is a movie that I've seen a zillion times, but this morning I heard the following line for the first time: "You know we just don't recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they're happening. Back then I thought, well, there'll be other days. I didn't realize that that was the only day."

And I remembered what Lama Kimberly said -- that if we just pay attention -- we'll hear divine messages all the time. We just have to tune in. We have to place our minds with intention, and work on keeping our focus. Only then, do we have the possibility of really hearing. As Samy pointed out, when you turn your attention to one thing, you forget about the other. These were divine teachings -- from my little lama, from the song I heard at the bakery, and from the line I heard as if for the first time in "Field of Dreams." We will only recognize the most significant moments of our lives if we are tuned in. So place your mind well.

1. Those who wish to keep a rule of life
Must guard their minds in perfect self-possession.
Without this guard upon the mind,
No discipline can ever be maintained.

2. Wandering where it will, the elephant of mind,
Will bring us down to pains of deepest hell.
No worldly beast, however wild,
Could bring upon us such calamities.

3. If, with mindfulness' rope,
The elephant of the mind is tethered all around,
Our fears will come to nothing,
Every virtue drop into our hands.

4. Tigers, lions, elephants, and bears,
Snakes and every hostile beast,
Those who guard the prisoners in hell,
All ghosts and ghouls and every evil phantom,

5. By simple binding of this mind alone,
All these things are likewise bound.
By simple taming of this mind alone,
All these things are likewise tamed.

Bodhicaryavatara of Shantideva circa 8th Century
Way of the Bodhisattva
(Padmakara Translation Group, Shambhala, 1997 pg 62 )

All That Exists is One

At the beginning of the class I taught this morning, I led the "Guru Chant." This is a chant I have sung many, many times over the last 5 years, and yet today I felt like I understood it for the first time. We have these experiences often. Things we do over and over again suddenly, and for some reason, take on a new meaning or become clear to us.

A guru is whoever or whatever brings us from darkness to light, from discontent to contentment. The Guru chant gives us different ways to acess whoever or whatever does this for us. We can visualize God, love, or the divine in different forms, because some work better for us or resonate differently at different times. (Even in the bible, God takes on many "personas." There is the angry God who floods the earth, or the parental God who leads his children out of Egypt, etc.) The Guru Chant begins with Brahma, the creator -- that which is beginningless and endless. It then acknowledges Vishnu, the preserver. (When I chant this, I think of my parents, who are always there for me, and whose presence makes me feel safe.) Guru Devo Maheshwarah is another name for Shiva, the destroyer. (I think of the difficult people and circumstances in my life that felt like they were tearing me down. In rising from and beyond them, I became stronger and more certain of my path.) Guru Sakshat Para-Brahma - is the teacher we can see (it might be a neighbor, colleague, or someone who inspires us) and the unseen teacher (the voice inside our heads). Tasmai Shri Gurave Namah: I bow down to all of my teachers who are all inside my heart.

As I chanted this today, I realized that they are all the same. They are all inside of me and each one of us. The love and wisdom that I receive from my teachers is something for which I reach out of myself. I think it is outside of me and that I receive it. This is my mind creating an illusion. The fact that I recognize it "out there," is because it is in my heart all along. It is like the breath: I inhale and exhale what I initially identify as "my breath," but it is part of a great ocean of breath. My inhale was a part of someone else's exhale. My exhale becomes someone else's exhale. There is no separate breath that is "mine." We are all giving to, and taking from, the same vast ocean of breath.

Shoveling snow yesterday, I thought that the snow I was moving might have once been rain in Guatemala, or fog somewhere else. My mind makes it look like a specific piece of precipitation that is sitting on my car, but it is part of the same body of water that exists and has existed always. There is one body of air. There is one body of water. There is one enormous sea of love that we feel inside and outside: we are all a part of it. The more we see breath or ourselves as separate, the more we look outside of ourselves for happiness, love and contentment, the more we miss it completely. We are joy. We are love. We are compassion. It is inside and outside and always.

All that exists is One. People only call this One by different names.~THE VEDAS.

God is love, and he that abideth in love abideth in God, and God abideth in him.~I JOHN iv. 16.

God is one whole; we are the parts.~EXPOSITION OF THE TEACHING OF THE VEDAS BY VIVEKANANDA.

Prosperity and Faith

Yesterday on WNYC, I listened to a program about the "Prosperity Gospel," a Pentacostal Christian movement that claims that the recession, and people's economic struggles, come from lack of faith in, or disobedience to, God. My immediate thought was, how mean-spirited and unfair. After all, Jesus and his followers were not wealthy people. Jesus was particularly kind and compassionate towards those who were disenfranchised from society, and critical of the wealthy and sometimes hypocritic members of the upper-class. How can these preachers chastise their followers and accuse them of causing their own economic woes by not believing or praying enough?

But then I thought about the question another way. Can you be poor from lack of faith? I believe the answer is yes. Think about this country. We have wealth and leisure time that are unimaginable to people like Flor and Thomas. And yet, Americans take anti-depressants in record numbers. We careen through relationships; we are continually dissatisfied or bored with our lives. Our secular lives, our emphasis on consumerism, have not brought us deep and lasting happiness. They can't. On the other hand, there are people in the world who have very little, and yet they are content and peaceful. Whether it is a belief in the dharma, Jesus, or secular humanism, we must have faith in something beyond ourselves. We must help others; that is what really makes us happy. We must measure our wealth in love and happiness, not possessions. Otherwise, no matter how much we have, we will be poor in spirit.

I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace. H.H.D.L.

From Houses to Homes

We are flying home from Guatemala, after building for a lovely family. They are Flore, the mother, Thomas, the father, and three children: Blanca, age 7, Thomas, age 5 and Jessica, age 2. Their home was a one-room, windowless shack, roughly the size of our dining room in New Jersey. The walls were made of dried cornstalks on the outside and sheets of black plastic on the inside. The floors were hardened dirt. In the shack were two beds – one for the parents and one for the three children. The only source of light was a circular, dim fluorescent bulb as the village got electricity a year ago.

They have a small kitchen adjacent to the one room. It has a stone oven, heated with wood, and a small counter. The bathroom is another little cornstalk shack, with a bottomless toilet seat that opens to a deep hole in the ground. The family collects rainwater in big barrels, and uses a bucket of water to occasionally “flush” the toilet. There is no running water. Children under four don’t use the outhouse; they urinate in the yard.

There were 6 adults on our team, all of whom were donating their time. There were also 3 young Guatemalan men, who I later learned all lived in houses built by From Houses to Homes. After seeing how FHTH changed the lives of their families, they each volunteered with FHTH to learn construction, and then became employees. Thomas, the father of the family we were building for, also helped.

It took 6 days of non-stop labor, but now the family lives in a much larger home, made of cinderblocks and cement. It has a window and a locking door, a proper cement floor and a tin roof that includes a plastic panel to let in natural light. On the last day, Flore and her two sister-in-laws cooked a delicious meal for the entire crew. They labored in the small kitchen for several hours. The kitchen was so smoke filled that I could only be in it for a moment or two before my eyes began to burn. However after Thomas served the crew outside, Flore, her relatives and all of their children ate inside the small smoky kitchen. This is their custom.

As the days progressed, more and more children from the neighborhood peeked in to see how the build was going. Most of the children in the village do not go to school. By the time children are 9, they are expected to help the family. The girls take care of their younger siblings and the boys work on farms. School costs money – approximately $5 a month, which is more than most of these families can afford. A day laborer can expect to earn at most $3 a day, and there isn’t work every day. However, Blanca and Thomas go to school. Flore walks them to and from each morning and afternoon, up a long steep hill and through the town of Santa Maria de Jesus. It is well over a mile, and Flore does it twice a day with baby Jessica tied to her back. This commitment to the education of their children is one of the reasons From Houses to Homes picked this family for a new house.

On the last day, we presented Flore and Thomas with the key to their new home, in a beautiful and emotional ceremony. So many people from the village came to see the house and witness their neighbor’s good fortune. It is hard to imagine that the lives of a family can be changed by the construction of a one-room house that is smaller than most New York studio apartments. And yet, for this family, in their world, it is a huge change. I felt so grateful to be able to participate in this build. To be able to reach out from my life and touch their lives; to make a connection and give a little of what I have to someone else, is a great gift. As always, the giver receives so much more than the recipient. It is important to be reminded that whatever we deem unsatisfactory in our lives is really nothing at all. To be around people whose hearts are so full despite having so little is quite a teaching. I look forward to returning to Guatemala soon.

Amazing Grace

Before our family eats, we hold hands and say a simple prayer. Samy leads us in the prayer she learned in pre-school and has been saying ever since: “Now we bow our heads to say, thank you for our food today.” And then I usually add: “May the food we eat give us strength to do good in the world, and may all who are hungry have all the food they need.”

It feels good to give thanks for our food. We aren’t thanking anyone in particular; we are simply expressing gratitude for what we have. This is an important practice. We all have so much. Even though I know this, I have been keenly aware of it as I have been preparing for my trip to Guatemala to help people who have so little in the way of material possessions. So many of us are caught in circles of longing. The media teaches us to want more than what we have. When we recently saw the movie “It’s Complicated” (very funny), it struck me that the plot of the movie was propelled by Meryl Streep’s character’s preoccupation with adding an addition and “dream kitchen” to her already huge house. Even though she had an enormous kitchen, it wasn’t what she had always wanted, and so she was changing it. This was supposed to symbolize her personal growth and growing self-esteem. But as Lama Marut says, “The desire for things to be different than they are is what is keeping us from seeing things as they are as perfect.” I think it would be a very good practice to periodically look at our lives and be grateful. To feel like we are complete without changing a thing. It would be good to remind ourselves that we don’t need anything outside of ourselves to be happy and whole.

The wish that by eating my food, all who are hungry have all the nourishment they need, comes from a prayer Jews say at the Passover service every spring: “Remember that it is we who were slaves in Egypt. May all who are in bondage be free.” To me, this is the most important aspect of Judaism: the reminder that we were once slaves in Egypt, the empathy with all who are currently enslaved, and the wish that all who are in servitude be free.” The Passover service reminds us never to turn our backs on the oppression of others, because we were once in that same position. Slavery can take many different forms. There is the slavery that is apparent, such as what blacks suffered at the hands of whites in the first centuries of our country. But there is also slavery that is disguised, such as the bondage to money, possessions, and believing that something other than what we have will make us happy. People who are enslaved to another can identify their oppressors; it is clear what must be done to achieve freedom. Because dissatisfied, unhappy people do not realize they are their own oppressors, it is hard to know how to achieve liberation.

It is also good to think: by my eating my food, may others be free from hunger. Imagine if this were true. Imagine that you could give your food and your act of eating it a higher purpose. Imagine that with every mouthful, somewhere in the world, a starving person’s hunger abated. Yesterday, I felt this very deeply as I ate my lunch. As I brought each forkful to my mouth, I felt that simultaneously a hungry child in Haiti was receiving aid. With each bite, another child was fed and was no longer hungry. It was a very powerful and beautiful feeling. I do wish it so.

A single person cannot, single-handedly, save every suffering soul in our big world. It is easy to give up, avert the eyes, and feel like we are each powerless. But we can each do what we can, and in fact infuse everything we do with the wish that somehow our thoughts, words and actions help to relieve the suffering of all beings. We can wish it so. If we all did, we would see change. This is what is meant by “Amazing Grace.”

I Am You and You Are Me

Just as an event does not stand alone and exist by itself, “I” do not stand alone and exist by myself. The “I” that is going to Guatemala to build homes with From Houses to Homes is but a link in a chain. It is easy to think that it is “me” who is going, but that “me” is made up of so many things: Parents and grandparents who not only gave me my DNA, but also instilled in me a belief that it is each person’s responsibility to help those in need. They taught me that the suffering of others is my own. “I” am also made from a husband who loves me unconditionally and supports my path, and children who are compassionate and caring about the world around them. “Me” is not separate from all of the experiences and people who have touched my life – the good and the bad. Each has shaped my idea of who I am. Take away one of these experiences, remove one person from my history, and who knows what, or how, I’d be. We are intertwined, beyond our wildest imaginings, knowingly or unwittingly planting the seeds for the future.

This Leads to That

Ceasing to do things will not make you "actionless." nor will you rise to perfection simply by renouncing actions. No one is free of actions even for a moment, because everyone is moved to do things by the quality of nature. In order to excel, mentally control the senses, let go of all attachments, and engage the body in Karma Yoga - selfless service. The Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 3, verses 4-7.

Everything we do or say, everything that happens to us, is a link in a chain of events. Often we look at the things that happen to us as happening in their own right -- isolated in time and space. But millions of tiny events lead up to them. Change one link in the chain, and everything changes.

On Monday, my husband, younger daughter and I are going to Guatemala to build houses with From Houses to Homes, an amazing organization that changes the lives of the poor in Guatemala - one house at a time. When we were thinking of what do to during the February break from school, my younger daughter Samy asked, "can't we go somewhere and do good in the world?" From that question, our trip took shape.

I heard about this organization through another yoga teacher, with whom I did my first yoga teacher training 3 years ago. My friend Stacy has traveled to Guatemala 4 times with From Houses to Homes, and each time returns glowing with the joy of helping these people. In the past, I have made donations to the group on her behalf, to help her to go and to help purchase supplies for her to build. But giving money, while admirable, is no substitute for going, and interacting with these people, and seeing how our lives are intertwined.

Our trip was almost derailed by the big snowstorm that closed airports and canceled flights last Wednesday. It took hours of searching airline schedules, and speaking to different operators, but despite a 4 day delay, we are going because a persistent operator at Delta was able to re-schedule our flights. Samy's question and her desire to do good in the world, the fact that I did a yoga teacher training and met Stacy, the persistent Delta operator, are all links in a chain leading to our trip. And the trip will be a link in a continuing chain that is always unfolding. Can't wait!

Tend Your Garden Well

The concept of karma is easy to embrace when things go well. It's quite another thing to embrace the concept of karma when things go badly. It's much easier to believe that good things happen to us because we did good in the past. It is much harder to believe that something bad is happening because we failed to take care of others.

A recent conversation I had with someone with whom I work went from bad to worse quickly. Within moments, a small difference of opinion blew so out of proportion that it was as if the conversation got swept up into a whirling sandstorm. At first I was bewildered by this. How did the conversation go so wrong? How did a simple issue become so complicated? But then, I realized that this was karma playing out. I was experiencing someone not really listening to me, over-reacting, being defensive and misinterpreting what I was saying. The worst thing I could do was get annoyed and harden my position. Although this was my natural reaction, it would have created a mental imprint to have a similar conversation in the future. Instead, the best thing to do was to listen carefully, validate my colleague's feelings, and soften. By doing so, I hope I sowed different seeds for the future.

This is the best we can do. We can't change what is happening or how we feel in the present moment. But we can control how we react, and try to plant better seeds for a better future. In the same moment that a karmic seed ripens, we are planting a new seed in our minds for the future. Don't plant weeds.

Just Think Lovely Thoughts

After years of studies, experts concluded that playing violent video games and being exposed to violence on TV promotes to aggressive behavior in children. Duh. Last week, on my way to the dermatologist, I was listening to BBC news and was treated to a story about two boys who brutally murdered two other boys in the woods outside of London. Then, I went into the doctor's office, and two t.v. screens at either end of the waiting room were broadcasting a story about Tiger Wood's sex addiction. This led to a talk show about a pizza delivery man who was cheating on his wife by having sex in his delivery van with his customers. It is as if we are LIVING in a violent video game. We are bombarded with sordid, bad news all day long. Why? Why do I, or anyone else, need to know about the two boys? Or Tiger Wood's troubles? Or the pizza guy's escapades? Hearing about people's basest acts is demoralizing and wearing. What if all you heard about was good news. What if the daily headlines looked like this? Or what if the media made a point to balance every report on violence with a report on people's heroic acts, and the millions of random acts of kindness that happen each day? Violence in the world will not end until our minds are free of violent thoughts. But this will never happen if we are surrounded by violent images on a daily basis. Ahimsa, the first of the yamas or restraints in the Yoga Sutras means "do no harm." Our lives are shaped by our minds. So watch what you put in there. As we think, so we become.

From Peter Pan: "Just think lovely, wonderful thoughts, and up you'll go!"

Boring Is as Boring Does

Sometimes all we know is that we don't know much. And that is a good start. If you feel like you know everything already, you're not open to learn. That's why, in yoga, we say to cultivate a beginner's mind. I have friends who are amazing practitioners who still approach each pose as if they are doing it for the first time. And they are. We are changing constantly. Our thoughts, perceptions, feelings, are in a constant state of flux and evolution. The conditions around us are also changing all the time. So the "you" that did something yesterday, or even 5 minutes ago, is different than the "you" of this moment. And the moment is different. Everything is always new if you look at it the right way. So whatever you do, do it with your whole heart. (Whole heartedness is the opposite of boredom!) If you live with this outlook, everything you do will be filled with wonder and discovery. You will always be full of curiosity and life will be miraculous.
To quote the Zen scholar Suzuki-Roshi:

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few."

If you see things as "same-old, same old," you will be bored. To paraphrase Forrest Gump, boring is as boring does. Never be bored and you will never be boring.

Here's a poem about having passion, from the amazing David Whyte:

The Opening of Eyes

That day I saw beneath dark clouds
the passing light over the water
and I heard the voice of the world speak out,
I knew then, as I had before
life is no passing memory of what has been
nor the remaining pages in a great book
waiting to be read.

It is the opening of eyes long closed.
It is the vision of far off things
seen for the silence they hold.
It is the heart after years
of secret conversing
speaking out loud in the clear air.

It is Moses in the desert
fallen to his knees before the lit bush.
It is the man throwing away his shoes
as if to enter heaven
and finding himself astonished,
opened at last,
fallen in love with solid ground.

Why?

Little children always ask "why?" And each answer you give leads to "but why?" As adults, we still yearn for the answer to the question, "why?" Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do tragedies like the earthquake in Haiti befall a people already enduring poverty and deprivation? Why? Our quest to explain our universe -- to make some sense of love and loss and good and bad -- seems never ending. We look to the universe -- somebody, something, tell me why. This is how religion and philosophy were born. And we need it. We need something -- some framework -- to help us make sense of it all. As Lama Marut says, "it is not the divine that will save you, but your belief in the divine." For me, the divine is the dharma of yoga. Yoga Sutra 2.21 says: "the seen exists for the sake of the Seer." All that we experience, all that we see, are teachings and tests for our higher self. It is how we respond to these experiences that charts our futures. Thus, a tragedy is not only an urgent reminder of how precious life is, but also an opportunity to access our goodness and compassion in the service of others. In the face of love, loss, good or bad, we have to think, "what is the noblest way to respond?" And we yoke ourselves to that higher path. This is yoga.

Grief

I am grieving. I am grieving in ways I did not even recognize. I am tired all the time. I am overcome with inertia. I am painfully aware of the fine line there is between treasuring each day because it might be the last day, and feeling like nothing really matters because we're all going to die anyway. The line between awareness of love and of all the beauty that surrounds us all the time, and the despair of knowing that it can all disappear in an instant. Sometimes I feel Sharon all around me. I hear her in my head. I feel her in my house. And other times, all I feel is her absence. Where do I turn? Where do I go? I know that life does not exist as we think it does, nor does death. Energy can't be created or destroyed - only changed into another form. Everything we do or say has an effect that will only bear fruit at a some later time. There was a deadly earthquake in Haiti today. Thousands of lives were lost or changed in seconds. It can happen to any one of us at any time. It has happened to me. I miss my friend. I am grieving.