My Anger Magnified a Billion Times Makes My World

Yoga Sutra II.35: AHIMSA PRATISTHAYAM TAT SAMNIDHAU VAIRA TYAGAH.
In the presence of one firmly established in non-violence, all hostilities cease.

There is so much violence in the world. The situation in Syria seems so hopeless. The news of the sergeant in Afghanistan who went on a rampage killing 16 people is tragic on so many levels. My heart goes out to families of the victims, but also to the parents of this soldier and his friends and other close family. They must be suffering so much. What must have been going on in the heart of this man, on his third tour in Afghanistan, to commit such a crime? It is very sad.

Why do I see a world with so much violence in it? The tradition that I follow teaches me that the violence I see in the world outside of me is caused by my thoughts, words and actions towards others. How can this be? I am a kind and peaceful person. I do good things. I try to take care of others.

But not always. Like anyone else, I get angry. I get irritated. I am sometimes thoughtless and careless about other people's feelings. In the past, I haven't always been honest, and I have hurt people who were close to me. There are many things I do each day -- talking on my cellphone while driving (much less than I used to but still...), leaving myself too little time to get places and driving aggressively, snapping at my husband or daughter -- that "do harm." And little seeds grow up to be big trees.

Like everyone else, I have a difficult/irritating person in my life. Right now, he is "popping up" in all his difficulties. He is someone who you have to walk on eggshells around, because he misinterprets the most benign things as slights. He is always feeling disappointed by people. Many other people who know him share my view that he is difficult and unreasonable, making it seem all the more to me that he is, in and of himself, difficult and irritating and that I am absolutely correct in my view of him.

In really thinking about him, I realize that he is a very unhappy person. He really has very few friends, and has isolated himself in the community. I would not want to live in his skin, feeling like all the world is against me. I still don't like his actions, and will respond to them as skillfully as I can. When I consider his suffering, I am no longer irritated by him or angry at him.

It is hard work to come to this view. But it is the work I must do, and that we all must do, to see an end to violence in our world. If I can constantly remind myself that everyone, at heart, wants to be happy, I can be angry less, and compassionate more. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.