A New Blog!

I wanted to let you know that I have started posting all my artwork to a new blog - http://jessicasporn.blogspot.com/.  I hope you'll follow me there.

Breathe the Beauty

Books like The Secret Garden, The Phantom Tollbooth, and plays like Our Town, taught me long ago that beauty is everywhere, if we only stop to look and listen. I forget this all the time, but doing a simple breath meditation is a good way to slow down and really tune into the senses. And so was born this design.

Root Down, Blossom Up!

Everything We Need is Already Inside of Us

Inspired by my beautiful daughter, Mariel.

Be Your Own True Self

dedicated to all the people who are doing wonderful things to make the world a better place.

Dream It, Then Do It

Love is everything

and always.

I Will Love

I will not turn away but will pay attention and hold all beings, victims and perpetrators, in my heart, loving all as if they were all my children. I will love, I will love, I will love.

My Anger Magnified a Billion Times Makes My World

Yoga Sutra II.35: AHIMSA PRATISTHAYAM TAT SAMNIDHAU VAIRA TYAGAH.
In the presence of one firmly established in non-violence, all hostilities cease.

There is so much violence in the world. The situation in Syria seems so hopeless. The news of the sergeant in Afghanistan who went on a rampage killing 16 people is tragic on so many levels. My heart goes out to families of the victims, but also to the parents of this soldier and his friends and other close family. They must be suffering so much. What must have been going on in the heart of this man, on his third tour in Afghanistan, to commit such a crime? It is very sad.

Why do I see a world with so much violence in it? The tradition that I follow teaches me that the violence I see in the world outside of me is caused by my thoughts, words and actions towards others. How can this be? I am a kind and peaceful person. I do good things. I try to take care of others.

But not always. Like anyone else, I get angry. I get irritated. I am sometimes thoughtless and careless about other people's feelings. In the past, I haven't always been honest, and I have hurt people who were close to me. There are many things I do each day -- talking on my cellphone while driving (much less than I used to but still...), leaving myself too little time to get places and driving aggressively, snapping at my husband or daughter -- that "do harm." And little seeds grow up to be big trees.

Like everyone else, I have a difficult/irritating person in my life. Right now, he is "popping up" in all his difficulties. He is someone who you have to walk on eggshells around, because he misinterprets the most benign things as slights. He is always feeling disappointed by people. Many other people who know him share my view that he is difficult and unreasonable, making it seem all the more to me that he is, in and of himself, difficult and irritating and that I am absolutely correct in my view of him.

In really thinking about him, I realize that he is a very unhappy person. He really has very few friends, and has isolated himself in the community. I would not want to live in his skin, feeling like all the world is against me. I still don't like his actions, and will respond to them as skillfully as I can. When I consider his suffering, I am no longer irritated by him or angry at him.

It is hard work to come to this view. But it is the work I must do, and that we all must do, to see an end to violence in our world. If I can constantly remind myself that everyone, at heart, wants to be happy, I can be angry less, and compassionate more. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.

Life Is Short But Its The Longest Thing You Do

Yesterday, I went to a funeral for a friend who died after a long fight with breast cancer. In the mid '90s, I taught a cardio-funk class at the YMCA (because I'm just so funky y'all), and Lydia was one of the regulars in a terrific bunch of women who came every week to learn routines to "Thriller," "Rhythm Nation," and "Proud Mary," to name a few. I had recently gone through a divorce and was tip-toeing into the dating world, and these ladies were a great source of support, wit and wisdom. When I first met my now husband, he came to take the class, they vetted him, pronouncing him "worthy." At about the same time, Lydia met her soon to be husband Thomas, and we vetted him too.

Lydia had a huge smile and a bubbly personality. She was one of those warm, loving people who embrace life with arms wide open. She was wildly in love with her husband, beyond proud of her daughter, and a cheerleader for her friends.

I lost touch with Lydia shortly after my younger daughter was born. For the past 11 years, our paths barely crossed; we both were caught up in our lives, and plans to get together didn't materialize. I am sad to say that I didn't appreciate how grave her illness was. When I bumped into her lovely daughter from time to time, I would always send my love, intend to call, and not follow through.

The beautiful memorial service today made me think a lot about why good people die young. When someone "bad" dies or suffers through a horrible illness, we don't really think about it. We have a sense that perhaps they deserved it. And when "bad" people prosper and thrive, we feel that the universe has made a terrible mistake. But when good people suffer and leave us too early, we sit up and take notice. The tragedy transforms us, wakes us up, makes us think twice about how much we take for granted. We always think we'll have the time to connect, to say the things we want to say, until we just don't. So, sadly, we keep needing these reminders about how precious and fragile life is. I am so sorry that I had to get this reminder from Lydia, and that I didn't make a point to stay in touch with her.

Life is the longest thing we do. So make yours amazing. Make it count. Share your love and goodness anytime and anyway you can.

An Attitude of Gratitude

How many of your friends blame their parents for their problems? I know people who don't talk to their mothers or fathers, have purposely moved far away from them, or resent having to interact with them. The relationship many of us have with our mothers or fathers would be shocking to people in many other societies. To be honest, at various times of my life, I have blamed my mother various things -- periods of low self-esteem and a bad body image, relationship woes -- you name it.

Yesterday, my daughter's school, the wonderful Montclair Cooperative, agreed to become the sister school to Escuela Kimna'oj in Santa Maria de Jesus, Guatemala. After the meeting with the principal, I was overcome with emotion thinking of how my parents created so many possibilities for me. So it felt good to call my mom and dad and thank them -- for creating me, for changing my diapers and wiping my butt!, for instilling in me good morals and ethics, and for all the help they have given me over the years to realize my dreams. It was important to me to speak to them and thank them for my life. This "attitude of gratitude" made me feel really happy. And it's no surprise that scientific research has recently shown that practicing gratitude may be the fastest single pathway to happiness, health, long life, and prosperity -- something most spiritual traditions have been claiming forever!

So as your ONE THING today, try thanking someone for your life. We are leading magical lives -- lives where we twist our wrists and water comes out of the faucet. Lives where we can speak to people miles and even countries away. Lives where we can turn on lights 24/7. Our lives are full of magic the rest of the world barely dreams of. So thank someone.

Also, I want to mention that today, when I walked my dog around the block, I noticed that the rain had washed many worms out of the earth. They were struggling on the sidewalk. Much as I don't like to touch worms, I picked them up and placed them back in the dirt. After all, they are someone's parents too...

For my "do no harm" pledge, I am committing to leaving more time to get to things. I have a habit of cramming that one extra thing in, and then I end up rushing, feeling angry at slower drivers, driving too fast, etc. So I am adding this to my list of things not to do for the next 30 days (now 28!).

Last thing... this morning my daughter surprised me by getting completely dressed, brushing her teeth and making her bed while I was meditating. This morning routine is something we normally struggle with -- a lot -- creating lots of stress in the morning. And today, she decided to surprise me as her ONE THING EVERY DAY to start the day with a better mood! Wow!

Do Good Be Good

This morning, I had two epiphanies -- the first was that our nature to suffer, to be dissatisfied, to want something more or different than what we have (I call this the "trouble in paradise" syndrome, where, no matter how beautiful the beach and perfect the weather, before long there's sand on the blanket, wind getting hair in the face, people on the blanket nearby are playing their music too loud, etc.), is what makes us human to begin with. That quest to tweak, improve upon, change, is why we're no longer walking on four legs and living in caves. So it's not inherently a bad thing. Actually, it's what brings most of us to the quest for enlightenment: Despite living lives that are about as perfect as anyone could wish for, most of us are still not really truly happy, and we want to change that.

The thing is, we can't change that if we go about it with the same set beliefs that got us where we are in the first place. Those beliefs were good to push us forward on the evolutionary ladder, but they won't get us to the final goal. That is, if we believe that getting more things, a better house, a better car, a better boyfriend, the next generation of iPad, is going to keep away those feelings of dissatisfaction, malaise, discontent, that inevitably crop up, we're making what my teacher calls "The Great Mistake." There is always something we don't have. When we get new things, their nature changes. The new car gets scratched; the new boyfriend has a different set of warts from the old one; the promotion brings with it an annoying co-worker, etc. Because everything changes, the rush of happiness we get changes too. And we long for something else. (Click here.)

This is why every great spiritual tradition teaches that the secret to happiness is 1. realizing that we've been completely mistaken about the true causes of happiness and 2. realizing that making others happy is the only way to make ourselves truly happy. Doing good feels good.

Second epiphany: If I'm going to make this 30 day "ONE THING EVERY DAY" pledge mean something, I have to not only "do good" but "be good." This means taking the vow to "do no harm" very seriously. Otherwise, my actions might cancel each other out, and not have the effect I want them to have. What's the good of doing one good deed every day, if I'm also speaking ill about someone behind their back or being irritable to people? So today my ONE THING is that I am meeting Samy's school's principal about setting up a new sister school program with Escuela Kimna'oj, the new school that From Houses to Homes is building in Santa Maria de Jesus, Guatemala. And my "be good" pledge is that for the next 30 days my cellphone will be in the trunk of my car when I'm driving. No more putting my family and others at risk!

So I will report back as time goes by on the effects of "do good, be good" over the next 30 days. In the meantime, here's an article from WikiHow on How to Be Happy, and also check out this website, which offers the 10 Keys for Happier Living.

One Thing Every Day

Today, I woke up feeling sluggish. All the passion and intensity I've felt since we got back from Guatemala seemed to have drained away. Up until this morning, I had been filled with a sense of urgency -- as if I had to make every moment count to be of service to the world. This morning, I awoke filled with lethargy. And I wondered if I would be able to muster my passion and enthusiasm, or whether I would lapse back into life as usual. Although my usual life is filled with a lot of volunteerism, it is also filled with the usual moments of irritability, malaise, and dissatisfaction. Like most people, I have days where I just can't wait for bedtime...

But then, I watched a film sent to me by my niece about the abduction of children in Uganda. If you don't know about this issue, you should watch it. It is horrifying and I immediately had to do something about it. So I did. I watched the movie, I signed a pledge, I made a donation, and I shared the link with everyone and anyone I knew. It woke me up. I decided to make a challenge for myself -- to do one thing every day to make the world a better place. And I created a facebook page for the challenge -- because if I do it publicly, I will hold myself accountable.

So here's my challenge: Take a pledge that for the next 30 days, you will do something -- ONE THING EVERY DAY -- to make the world a kinder, gentler, better place. It can be donating to a cause, picking up litter you see on the street, reaching out to someone in need, volunteering at a school, soup kitchen, animal shelter -- just ONE THING EVERY DAY -- and share it to inspire others. Feel free to re-post, share with all your friends, etc!

I hope that we'll share causes and inspire each other to do good and be good. We can't all do big acts every day. But if we keep it small, we'll see that doing something good and generous for 30 days is very possible. To quote from one of my favorite books, The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster: "whatever we do affects everything and everyone else, if even in the tiniest way. Why, when a housefly flaps his wings, a breeze goes round the world..." So flap your wings people!

I Can Do Something

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do. Helen Keller

Our family just returned from our fifth trip to Antigua, Guatemala. We first went in February 2010 with the amazing organization From Houses to Homes (FHTH) to build a house for a poor Mayan family up in the Guatemalan highlands. The trip inspired us so much that we have returned again and again, building a second house, "adopting" our families, becoming godparents to the son of one of the Guatemalan workers on our build crew and "adopting" his family, and creating a sister school program between our youngest daughter's school and a school sponsored by FHTH.

Like most kinds of volunteer work, these trips enrich us beyond anything we can possibly give. We come home with a real sense of how blessed our lives are. We have the time for things like yoga in a beautiful studio. We have disposable income for so many things beyond the bare necessities. We have running water at the twist of the wrist -- and hot water to boot -- and it's drinkable! Truly, we are leading magical lives. So why do most of us experience dissatisfaction and frustration with our lives on a daily basis? Take me for example. For the last few months, I have been feeling dissatisfied with my house because it doesn't have a powder room on the first floor. Yes, we have 3 full bathrooms, but sometimes, it's just so annoying to have to go up or down a flight of stairs to pee ... So I have spent a lot of time thinking about how and where we can possibly put a powder room on the first level ... This visit to Guatemala, where our families have no bathrooms at all, but simply holes in the ground surrounded by dried cornstalk "walls" with a door made out of a torn piece of fabric, was just what I needed to knock some sense into me.

This is what witnessing or experiencing suffering does - it knocks sense into us. Whether it's the plane suddenly dropping, or losing a loved one before his or her time, or experiencing a grave illness ourselves, or getting out of our normal lives and seeing how so many others live, we NEED these experiences to make us appreciate all that we have and shift our perspectives. This doesn't mean that we become complacent and give up our goals, but it means that we understand that achieving them will not bring us lasting happiness. The pleasure we get from them is not permanent. Let's face it, we'll just find something else to want. So we have to GIVE UP THE IDEA that the perfect body, a different job, the right partner, the newest iPhone, A POWDER ROOM ON THE FIRST FLOOR, will bring us happiness.

So what will give us lasting happiness? Taking care of others. MAKING OTHERS HAPPY.

The poverty in Guatemala is overwhelming -- a 69% illiteracy rate, nearly two million indigenous families living in rickety cornstalk shacks lined with plastic garbage bags to keep out the elements, high infant mortality and short life spans. Obviously, I am not going to eliminate it with my efforts, but that doesn't mean that I should stop trying. Back to the quote up top from Helen Keller -- Just because I can't do everything, I won't stop trying to do what I can do. And the thing is, while I am doing something for others that really and meaningfully improves their lives, I am feeling better about my life. I am increasing my happiness by increasing my compassion for others. I am realizing my own blessings by trying to give to other people.

So here's my question -- what is the something that YOU can do? And how will it make you happier with what you have already? Let's inspire each other with all the good things we do in the world and how these acts have changed our lives and the lives of others.

I Cannot Cover the World with Leather, but I Can Transform My Heart

As we walk through the villages and streets of Antigua and the surrounding towns, we give money and clothes and buy food and supplies for everyone we can. Samy correctly observed that the more we give, the more poor people there seem to be. How can we help everyone? I told her about this beautiful teaching by Master Shantideva, from the "Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life:"

Chapter 5 v13
Where would I possibly find enough leather
With which to cover the surface of the earth?
But wearing leather just on the soles of my shoes
Is equivalent to covering the earth with it.

Chapter 5 v14
Likewise it is not possible for me
To restrain the external course of things;
But should I restrain this mind of mine
What would be the need to restrain all else?

It is not possible to help every person in need here in Guatemala or in the rest of the world. What we can do is transform our hearts to love every single being the way we love our parents and children; to not only wish them happiness and freedom from suffering but to do as much as we can, individually and collectively, to make that happen. Only by transforming our hearts can we transform the world around us.

Gifts That Keep Giving

I love how things just fall into place here in Guatemala. During our visit to San Antonio des Aguas Calientes, the grandmother -- Abuella -- heard we were going the next day to Santa Maria de Jesus and said she wanted to come too. We assumed she knew people in SMDJ, and wanted to visit. We arranged that she would meet us in the Parque Central -- the central square of Antigua.

At noon on Sunday, we drove up to the central square, and sure enough, there she was. In the winding car ride up Volcan Agua, it turned out that she didn't know anyone in SMDJ. But she had never been in a car before (she's 61) and wanted to get out for the day! Then, as we drove up, the driver asked us if we knew how to get to either Edgar's or our other family's house. We didn't, but had faith that somehow it would work out. As we rounded the turn from the mountainside into SMDJ, there was Edgar, leaning against a concrete post, waiting for us with his bicycle, wearing his Gas Lamp Players' "Show Me The Beast" t-shirt! And we followed him to his family's house.

It is hard to explain the deprivation in which Edgar's family lives. Edgar's mother is nursing her 11th child, who is only 3 months younger than Edgar's baby, and our godson, Elmer. Edgar has two older sisters who are married and live nearby with their husbands; the other 8 children are 14 and under. For a while, the entire family was homeless because Edgar's father had a drinking problem and stopped working. But he stopped and now works seasonally on a coffee plantation picking and sorting beans, for which he makes $4 a day. Off season, he tries to find construction work at $2 - $3 a day.

Edgar supports his wife and son, and supplements his father's income with his work for "From Houses to Homes," (FHTH) for which he is immensely grateful. He and his parents each live in homes built by FHTH and the other children sleep in a cornstalk shack between the two cinderblock houses. The families have two "kitchens" -- cornstalk enclosures with a fire inside. They all share one outhouse -- a hole in the ground with a bottomless toilet on top of it. The compound is enclosed by cornstalk "walls," and, except for the concrete floors of the FHTH homes, the "floors" are dirt. It is incredibly dusty. All of the children are covered with layers of grime that they wash off with rainwater collected in big drums.

Edgar's younger siblings' shoes are worn and cracked. One of the pairs of sneakers that we brought (thank you Annie Bayne) fit his youngest brother and you can not imagine how excited he was to receive them. When we were leaving, kids from the neighboring alleys came running up to admire them, getting down on their knees in the dirt to trace their fingers over them. And Edgar's brother was as proud of them as Dorothy her ruby slippers. It was that exciting.

On Saturdays, Edgar supplements his FHTH income with other construction work or coffee bean sorting. On Sundays, he rests and also tries to learn English. He proudly showed us a tape he is using to teach himself. I noticed that his English is much improved since we were here in February. None of Edgar's siblings go to school -- the family simply can't afford the meager school supplies that Guatemalan children are expected to provide for themselves. But Edgar is determined that his son's life will be different. And so it shall.

After visiting for about 1/2 hour, we went to see our "first family" we built for last February -- Flore, Tomas, Blanca, little Tomas and Jessica. They are well, and I am happy to say that the 3 chickens we bought last time we were here have not been consumed! They are each sitting on 10 eggs apiece, which will bring a nice income to the family.

Throughout or visit, Abuella kept a keen eye on all that was going on. It seemed perfectly natural to everyone that our "grandmother" from another family would be visiting our other families. When we brought her back home at the end of the day, she bestowed many blessings upon us. She is quite a woman -- I think that with education, there would have been no stopping her.

Happiness is a Goat

Today we visited our family in San Antonio des Aguas Calientes. Getting there was an adventure, as neither we nor our driver had an address. Our family lives on a plot of land carved into the side of the mountains surrounding the village; they don't get mail, and there is no name to their "street," such as it is. But we drove into San Antonio with hope. As we circled the streets, we saw the bright blue house that we helped build shining from afar in the sun like a beacon. As we got as near to it as we could, we recognized the street that accesses the alleys leading up the mountain. There were two women who had just finished washing their clothes in the local well, and we asked them which alley led to Florinda and Blanca's house. In Spanish, they exclaimed - look! it is the family of Samantha! And so we found our way.

It was a joyous reunion, with many hugs and squeezes. We sat in the house that we built, the 9 member family on the bed and floor, and Mariel, Samy and I on plastic chairs reserved for special guests. We gave away clothing and books and toys, and then Blanca (the oldest sister) brought in a baby goat on a rope. With money we had given them on our last visit, they had bought cow and a goat which had just had a baby. So there is milk for everyone and the possibility of income if they sell the baby goat. There was much happiness.

They invited us to stay and make a meal together. It is not easy to sit in the little kitchen -- a separate cornstalk shack in which they make a fire. The smoke is unbearable. Blanca made tortillas, and she, her mom and Abuella had a good laugh watching Samy and me try to make tortillas. It's not as easy at you would think, to roll the dough into a ball and toss it from one hand to the other to flatten it out! Everyone in the family helped make the meal -- the men kept bringing more wood for the fire; the oldest son tended the flames; the younger girls picked limes from the family tree for the marinades; and the 13 year old watched the two little ones. We truly felt like part of the family.

They rolled out a straw mat for us to sit on, and we ate our meal on the floor in the blue house. Churasco, guacamole, tomato sauce, a cucumber salad, and of course, lots of tortillas! It was delicious, and they were very gracious about my foregoing the churasco -- more for everyone else. As we sat with them, I thought about how Mariel and Samy are having some interesting experiences of the world. They are seeing that happiness can be as simple as having a goat.

Find An Angel

Arrived safely in Guatemala after a long day of traveling. I am so proud of my two girls - waking up at 4:15 AM and navigating through changing planes in Miami, customs in Guatemala, baggage claim and the 45 minute ride to Antigua with no complaints. Especially Samy, who has been sick all week and still has a hacking cough -- she pulled her suitcase, kept up with Mariel and me, and was a real trooper. I wonder what people thought, looking us, each with an individual rolling suitcase and backpack, plus 4 huge suitcases. I kept feeling the need to explain that we were bringing things for the poor, lest people think we were "over packers." The girls feel asleep during the ride to Antigua. I have a sweet picture of them nestled together in the back seat of the van, their arms intertwined and their heads facing each other like a ying/yang symbol. (I will post it later.) They woke up as we hit the cobblestones of the Antigua streets, and we were all smiles at the sight of the brightly painted buildings and familiar streets of our home away from home.

We are staying in "Hotel Antigua," which I recommend to anyone coming to do service work here. It is beautiful and simple, yet feels so luxurious. Our room is in the annex, which has a lap pool. After arriving we had our own private swim as there doesn't appear to be anyone else staying in the annex -- at least for now.

At 5:30PM, we made our way through the cobbled streets of Antigua to the office of From Houses to Homes, "FHTH." Mariel and I took turns pulling the enormous suitcase that Liz Contreras donated to us, filled with some of the amazing donations you have given. Earlier, I had separated out all the donations into four groups -- for the FHTH workers and their families, our San Antonio des Aguas Calientes family, and our two Santa Maria de Jesus families. Shortly after we reached the office, the trucks with the workers arrived -- all the men we have come to know and love in our times here -- Hector, Tomas, Louis, Esa, Mickey, and the others whose names I don't really know, and of course, Edgar. It felt like a holiday as we opened the suitcase and the guys separated out the stuff. So thank you to everyone who sent clothing with us. It was very, very appreciated!

We went to dinner afterwards with Joe Collins, director of FHTH, and Edgar. Joe told us all about the new school FHTH is building in Santa Maria de Jesus (SMJ), and the other great work the organization is doing. It is very inspiring to see the life Joe has chosen to lead. He has left behind the life he knew in NJ, and lives in Guatemala now. His life is very simple -- all of his time is devoted to serving the poor here. He has some friends who he meets at the Parque Central on Saturday and Sunday mornings, but otherwise his life is devoted to serving as many people as he can through FHTH.

We had a very tearful moment when Edgar spoke of how hard he is working to help his family. Speaking to Mariel in Spanish, he told us how he used to make 25Q ($4) a 14-hour day farming in SMJ and how grateful he is for his job with FHTH; how grateful he is that we come back to Guatemala; that we agreed to be his son's godparents; that we send support and come to visit; that we have changed his life and the lives of his family. We were all very moved.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama says that there are two basic routes to happiness. One is through material comfort and material pleasure. This, however, is not a guaranteed route - there are many people who have all or more than they need and are not happy. Look at our country -- people live in comfort unimaginable to most of the world and yet have all sorts of emotional maladies and discontent. Another route is through mental comfort -- there are many people who have very little in the way of material possessions who are nevertheless content and joyful. And yet, if someone is so lacking in material comforts that they are hungry and sick, it will be hard to be content, no matter how peaceful the mind. The challenge is to find the balance; to know that material comforts alone will not bring happiness without mental comfort. And that is the lesson I keep learning in Guatemala. I see people around me with so little, and yet with love and joy in their hearts. So as much as Edgar was thanking us, I was thanking him, although he doesn't understand why.

I am grateful to have found angels who are giving me and my family the opportunity to feel like angels. I urge everyone to seek out those people -- people who give you the opportunity to help them and the opportunity to feel like you are making the world a better place. We may think we are here to help them, but really, they are here to help us.

Namaste

All the World's A Garden

"That is all very well, little Alice," said her grandfather, "but there is a third thing you must do." "What is that?" asked Alice. "You must do something to make the world more beautiful," said her grandfather.
Miss Rumphius, Barbara Cooney

My mother is a gardener. From spring through fall, you can find her in her long pants, long sleeved shirt, and floppy straw hat, working in her garden. Eclectic and unpredictable, the garden winds and turns on a rocky, hilly, weedy piece of land that is difficult to manage. If the land itself did not present enough obstacles, there are the deer, chipmunks, and other wildlife to contend with. Plus, an in-ground sprinkler system is out of the question, and so my mother has devised a precisely choreographed sequence of manual lawn sprinklers for the hot summer days. Few people would have tackled this troublesome tract of land -- it is not a lush spot that calls out "garden me." And yet, under my mother's persevering hand and indomitable will, the land has yielded beautiful and fragrant flowers. People come to see this garden and marvel at how she has tamed the land, and created beauty in an unexpected place.

The garden says a lot about who my mother is, and the things she has taught me. She has always been determined and independent, marching to the beat of her own drum. Although she came of age and married in the 1950s, she was never content to "just" stay home. By the time I was 16, she had finished her dissertation and obtained her Ph.D., specializing in diagnosing and treating dyslexia long before it became known as a common learning disability. But when I look back on my childhood, what I remember most is her dedication to and love of the arts. I remember coming home to find her on her knees in the living room, acting out the death of Madame Butterfly. Unlike most children growing up in Brooklyn in the 1960s, I was as familiar with operas like La Traviata and Aida, and ballets like Giselle and Swan Lake, as I was with traditional children's fairy tales. While my friend's parents listened to Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett, I grew up listening to Mahler and Beethoven.

Once she retired from teaching, my mom's devotion to all things beautiful bloomed fully. She was able to actively pursue the Italian language and cooking classes she loved so much, and volunteer at the New York City Opera and Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. She has studied flower arranging -- making beautiful works of art out of the flowers she so dutifully tends. And she has added to her garden. Always one to notice and pay attention to an interesting view or a beautiful sunset, she has instilled in me the importance of pausing to see the beauty in the world around me. She has taught me that "if you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden." The Secret Garden

Thanks Mom.

Brahma, Vishnu, Dad

guru brahma guru vishnu guru devo maheswara, guru sakshat param brahma tasmai sri guruve namaha

To that teacher that is creation, to that teacher that is this very life, To that teacher that is all challenge and transformation, to that teacher within each of us, To that teacher beyond all things - formless and divine, I bow down and offer my life and efforts.

Last month, my father was inducted into the International Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. (who knew!) At a lovely luncheon at the Water Club, my dad was surrounded by family and friends, colleagues from the law, and partners and opponents from the many tennis courts he has played on over the last 60 years. As further evidence of my dad's loyal and gregarious spirit, even his internist, dentist, bankers, and former secretaries were there too.

In his speech, my dad said that he could not quite explain how he arrived at this time and place. He always did what he loved, whether it was his law practice, or the game of tennis, which he took up with great passion at age 18. And he always loved what he did.

Looking around the room, I thought about the seeds my dad had sown to be so successful in life -- not just in terms of material comforts, but in terms of his excellent health, athleticism, and most importantly, the joy and happiness he finds in life. He is in many ways an uncomplicated man with a big smile. Contentment is as much a part of his make-up as his skin or his breath.

His story is familiar but unique too: the son of immigrants who came to the United States with very little, he grew up in Brooklyn raising pigeons on the roof, playing basketball and street hockey with his friends. His group of 5 mischievous boys had a contest to see who could graduate from High School with the lowest GPA. My dad came in second. After high school, he worked on the Brooklyn docks. The work was hard, and so he decided to go to college even though he had no direction. In his second year, he took an aptitude test to try to figure out what to do in life. His guidance counselor said he should become an engineer, but when he found out that meant science and math classes, he decided to do the opposite and become a lawyer. Suddenly my dad found direction. He graduated from Brooklyn Law School in the top of his class and became Editor in Chief of the Brooklyn Law Review. (his friend who had "won" the High School delinquency contest became a professor of astrophysics at Harvard.) He married my mom, volunteered down South during the civil rights movement, went into private practice, and eventually became a plaintiff's lawyer, specializing in securities litigation. He picked up tennis in college and became as passionate about it as he did about the law. His true callings have always been his family, the law, and tennis, in no discernible order!

I have learned so much from my dad. He has always followed his heart with great passion. Despite becoming successful and "marrying up" (my mom's parents were cultured, first generation Americans, and my mom's dad was a lawyer -- my dad's parents were immigrants), the boy from Brooklyn stayed just that. Open always to all people from all walks of life, a defender of social justice and a friend of the underdog, he taught me that anything and everything is possible. He showed by example that being happy and content is our true nature, and that each experience we have is a teacher. He has approached life like a student in a big university, and the challenges he has met as his curriculum and teachers. Always learning, always an adventure.

Thanks dad.