surprise teachings

Last week from 6-10 PM, I spent every night in an amazing class on Book One of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. The Yoga Sutras are divided into Four Books, or Chapters, and the first book, the Chapter on Meditation, contains the classical definition of Yoga, the ways our minds create obstacles, and the five stages of spiritual life. Teaching the course were the amazing Jessica Kung and Stephane Dryfus, of the Yoga Studies Institute. On the third night of class, Samy, my 7 year old, came for the first 2 hours because of a child-care snafu. She was very good, despite having to sit quietly for a 20 minute meditation and one hour and 40 minute teaching. She did her homework, played with her doll, and drew quietly. The next morning, we had our usual hectic routine of trying to find her shoes, packing her homework in her backpack, and running late as we hurried to get to school on time. In the mornings, Samy seems to take forever to get from point A to point B -- singing songs, creating dance moves, and doing everything except focusing on getting out of the door. Every morning is a tug of war, and that morning, I got so frustrated, and said something like, "I can't stand it -- every morning it's the same thing. You never know where your things are, and we're always late. I'm sick of this." Samy stopped, and looked at me, hand on her hip, hip jutted out, and said: "I don't think you listened to a thing those teachers were saying last night. Because if you did, you wouldn't yell at me because you'd realize that your feelings are coming from you, not from me." I was floored. She had been listening! And she was right. Yes, it's her responsibility to put her shoes in the right place. But my irritation, aggravation, frustration are coming from me. She does not cause them. How do I know this? Because not every single parent would react the same way (although I think I have good company!). Because my frustration flows in part from the belief that I am entitled to sit and read the morning paper instead of having to spend time getting Samy ready. Because I don't like having to get her ready. Because some parents might direct their children to lay things out the night before and I don't take the time to do that. Because some parents might just let their kids be late and not care. But the point is that the teaching was hammered home from my 7 year old! So be on the look out for teachings. You never know who is going to give them to you!