karma via ups

Lama Marut has a great saying: "Never be upset with others. They are just the UPS van delivering your own karma." I had to remind myself of this recently, when I was downstairs in the basement of the Costume Shop trying to make a list of items that Gas Lamp Players wants to keep after we sell the shop to On Cue Costumes. While I know this is the right move for Gas Lamp, sadness, resentment, misgivings and blame suddenly welled up inside of me. In moments like these, it is easy to lose your balance and, while teetering, fall back on old ways of reacting. My immediate response was to dig in, become territorial and grasp on to things I had forgotten we even had -- just because it was hard to let go. And really, the "things" I was clinging to mean nothing. They just represent a concept of what the costume shop means to me (which is different than what it means to someone else). After sleeping on this, and meditating on it this morning, I was able to "zero in" on those feelings and see how misguided they are. Zeroing in on negative feelings is like zeroing in on an itch or a foot that's fallen asleep. As soon as you zero in on it, you can't find it. Because when you try to put your mind on the itch, suddenly you can't locate it where you thought it was. It's the same with a negative feeling. If you go "into" the feeling and its apparent causes, it pops and disappears like a bubble. So what was the delivery by the karmic UPS truck? Two years ago, Gas Lamp Players took over a costume collection from the Junior League of Summit. We took everything, and Vince, the proprietor, was heartbroken to see those costumes go. He experienced the same sadness I was experiencing now. Looking back, I don't recall being all that compassionate about his loss. Well, here I am in the same situation. Hello karma delivery! This realization is helping me to be as gracious as possible. I am letting go of something that was never "mine" and that never existed as I thought it did anyway. So hopefully, I'll be able to plant new karmic seeds this time. And maybe the next time the karma UPS truck comes, it will bring something lovely!