do no harm

Yoga is so much more than the physical practice most practitioners do. It is an eight-fold path, of which asana -- the postures -- are third after the ethical codes of conduct. Ahimsa is the first of five yamas, or restraints, in the eight-fold path of yoga. The yamas are meant as restraints regarding our actions and interactions with the world around us. Ahimsa is translated as “non-violence,” “non-injury,” or “non-harming,” and is widely considered to be the foundation of the yogic path.

"Do no harm," is harder than it sounds. It goes beyond "thou shalt not kill," to include harming in our speech, through inaction, and through carelessness. The vow of Ahimsa is broken by showing contempt towards another, by entertaining dislike for or prejudice towards anybody, by hating or speaking ill of others, by backbiting or vilifying, by harboring thoughts of hatred, or by telling lies about others. It is virtually impossible to practice perfectly by anyone one living in the "real world." We all unwittingly kill countless creatures while walking, sitting, eating, breathing, sleeping and drinking. And we all unwittingly hurt other people's feelings, even with the best of intentions. But we have to keep trying to help, not harm. To keep learning from our mistakes, and doing the best we can with the best intentions we have. Doing nothing is not an option.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
(So Shines a Good Deed in a Naughty World)

by Franklin P. Adams

There was a man in our town who had King Midas’ touch;
He gave away his millions to the colleges and such;
And people cried: “The hypocrite! He ought to understand
The ones who really need him are the children of this land!”

When Andrew Croesus built a home for children who were sick,
The people said they rather thought he did it as a trick,
And writers said: “He thinks about the drooping girls and boys,
But what about conditions with the men whom he employs?”

There was a man in our town who said that he would share
His profits with his laborers, for that was only fair,
And people said: “Oh, isn’t he the shrewd and foxy gent?
It cost him next to nothing for that free advértisement!”

There was a man in our town who had the perfect plan
To do away with poverty and other ills of man,
But he feared the public jeering, and the folks who would defame him,
So he never told the plan he had, and I can hardly blame him.

a beautiful quote

From today's Modern Love column in the New York Times, by Margaret Gunther:

It doesn't seem fair that we can look back and connect the dots in life, and see what led from that to this, but we cannot look forward and anticipate in any way what constellation today's dots will form in the vast space ahead of us. I guess it's just best to assume that heaven is right here, right now, and let the stars fall where they may.

who's fault is it anyway?

We all have people in our lives who judge us, or see bad motivations or intent in our actions. I have had people hold me in the highest regard and then feel deeply disappointed when I don't meet their expectations. It is so easy to internalize their expectations and disappointment; to waver between striving, feeling good, and then plummeting into self-doubt and low self-esteem, or to feel angry at them for making me feel this way. I have to remind myself that if I careen through all these emotions during occasional encounters with such a person, imagine what it must feel like to be that person. Because people who are hard on others -- who default to feeling let-down, deceived, misled, disappointed -- are hard on themselves all the time. Chances are they are always efforting -- trying their hardest, never relaxing, and always feeling like they are not good enough. Whatever suffering I'm experiencing by occasionally feeling their expectations and disappointment is nothing compared to what they are inflicting on themselves.

It's hard to see it this way, especially when I feel hurt and wrongly thought of. But the "me" that feels wounded and misunderstood only exists in my mind. And the "me" that disappointed only exists in the other person's mind. There is no objective "me." If I can hold onto the emptiness of this, and just always try to be my highest self, I can have love and compassion rather than wanting to get as far away as I can.

waves

There's nothing like a walk to stimulate, elucidate and placate (Walt Frazier, do you read me?) the restless mind. Watching my dog play in the dog park -- sniffing and greeting dogs she plays with daily as if she's meeting them for the first time -- made me wonder what it is about human consciousness that makes our mind so restless in the present moment, but so comfortable bathing in the past and dreaming of the future? The moment we feel any happiness or discomfort in "what is," we're off and running after "what could be" or "what was." Why are we made this way?

I think it is no accident that I am reconnecting with people from long ago at the same time that something I've been involved in for many years is unraveling. In law school, you learn about the principle of "proximate cause." The law recognizes that there is not one distinct cause of an accident or injury, but a chain of events giving rise to it. However, for purposes of assessing liability, you look for the proximate, or most direct cause of the event. Our lives are a long chain of proximate causes. Upon reflection, I can see that the events that lead to and flowed from the break-up of my first marriage were proximate causes of the relationships that followed, including my marriage to my second husband. There is no event in my life distinct from the events that preceded it. The events in our lives are like waves in the ocean -- ebbing and flowing, but always born from and resolving back to a bigger body of water. Sometimes the connections only become apparent in hindsight, but no doubt they are there. To relate back to yesterday's post, all we can do is remain open and present to "what next?"

A poem I wrote in primary school:

WAVES
lapping gently upon the sand
never bothering to go far out on the land
sea-glass, driftwood, and shells you bring in
never bothering to see what is there
just quietly, endlessly lapping
never stopping.

love + love = love

This weekend, I attended a reunion of friends from camp that recently re-connected in the virtual world of Facebook. Most of us had not seen each other for over 35 years. Three of us went for a walk around the old camp site. For 6 weeks each summer, that place was our whole lives, where dreams were made and lived, loves were found or lost, and nothing mattered more. The heightened sense of reality we lived with then -- the feeling of no past and future but only those 6 weeks -- those moments on the edge of our lives, came flooding back. Since Sunday, many of those memories have seemed more real to me than my present life. I have caught myself mentally walking down memory lane while physically walking my daughter to school; the siren call of a rose-colored past, and thoughts of what the reconnection with people from that past can mean to my present, is so alluring. How might these connections shape me today and tomorrow?

I received help sorting through it all from an amazing dharma talk by yoga teacher Jillian Pransky. She asked us -- "isn't it miraculous how quickly we can fall in love?" She was talking about this in the context of how quickly we fall in love with a baby, and the worries and fears that can accompany that love, and the importance of staying open to all of life's possibilities -- but it resonated with me. In the summer of 1973, I fell in love so quickly with a boy, with a place, and with what it meant to be in that place and with that boy. And walking through that place 35 years later was to relive that love -- to have it feel so real and so relevant and so present. Love can knock you off of your feet. To feel so much love for all I have in my present life, and to add to that love I had in the past, is almost more miracles than I can bear. A piece of me starts to contract and shy away in fear. But as I tell my daughters, the heart has an infinite capacity to love. Feeling love can never detract from feeling love. All we can do is try to keep our balance and stay open to the question, "what next?"

spring cleaning IV

Seize the coming of spring to let go of any small ideas you have about yourself. The "you" you think you are never existed anywhere but in your mind. So why not start thinking of "you" as the kindest, most compassionate, loving, patient, radiant person. Change your perception of "you," and you will change your perception of your world.

spring cleaning III

There was an amazing essay in the Styles section of the NY Times yesterday about how Alzheimer's disease had, in some way, healed the writer's grandmother and family. (A Memory Magically Interrupted by Robert Leleux) As the grandmother's Alzheimer's progressed, her overall health improved. The doctor explained that people with Alzheimer's often heal themselves of their physical diseases because they forget they have them. Moreover, as her memory faded, the grandmother became happier and kinder. From the article:

Imagine: to be freed from your memory, to have every awful thing that ever happened to you wiped away - and not just your past, but your worries about the future, too. Because with no sense of time or memory, past and future cease to exist, along with all sense of loss and regret. Not to mention grudges and hurt feelings, arguments and embarrassments. And that's the fantasy, isn't it? To be able not to merely forget, but to expunge your unhappy childhood, or unrequited love, or rocky marriage from your memory. To start over again.

We can't expunge the experiences -- they happened. But we can change how we look at them and the way we feel about them. For example - people in a yoga class find out that their usual teacher isn't teaching that day -- there is a last minute sub. Most of the people are ambivalent. Some are excited to experience someone new. And some are really upset and disappointed that the teacher they expected is not there. One or two actually feel betrayed and angry. The experience -- coming to a class, having a different teacher -- is the same but the way people feel about it is different. Where are the feelings coming from? Not from the class, not from the original teacher or the sub. The feelings come from the individuals.

Your world is coming from you, not at you. So if you don't like your world, change it. Take this season of rebirth and renewal to change how you think about your past. Think about the valuable lessons you learned from difficult experiences. View them as blessings instead of wounds. We shouldn't need to wipe out our memories to be happy.

spring cleaning II

Better keep yourself clean and bright;
You are the window through which you must see the world.
George Bernard Shaw

spring cleaning

When Wendy leaves Neverland, Peter Pan promises to come back for her when it's spring cleaning time. When he does come back, she is all grown up, and too old to fly. Year after year, watching the Mary Martin movie, my heart would break when Wendy cried, "Oh how I wish I could go with you," and replied, "but you can't -- you're just too old."

As long as we are in our beginner's mind, we are never to old for spring cleaning. And I mean of the spiritual kind! Our minds - our feelings about ourselves - our idea of "me," is nothing more than a collection of feelings and memories about the experiences we've had and how we've reacted to them. What better time than spring to throw out those that don't serve us, or think of them differently so that they do?

An example from my life: In primary school, I always felt excluded from the group of girls I most wanted to be friends with. There were two girls in particular who wouldn't let me in. I took this experience to mean that I was the outsider -- the wannabe. But looking back on it, this experience also gave me a big sensitivity for other people who might feel left out. I have always been one to befriend someone who seems friendless, include someone who is lingering on the outside, and try to make someone who is down feel good about who they are. So was my experience in grade school bad for me or good for me? Most of us are not born with perfect compassion, empathy, kindness, benevolence. I know I wasn't! So we need teachers along the way. And those teachers don't always come in the form of empowering self-help books. Sometimes they come in the form of people who seemingly make us suffer.

Spring (and at least today it's sunny, not snowing!) is a good time to think about experiences in our lives that we labeled as negatives, and reflect on whether there was a positive that flowed from them. We can see people in our past as teachers, not villains. We can never be objective about how we view our selves and our past. So why not pick the view that serves us most? And then, we will never be too old to soar.

what the....?

Two days ago it was 60 degrees and spring seemed here. Today, it is snowing like crazy! Nothing like nature to remind us of worldviews 1 & 2 -- things change, and we have no control in the present moment!

smacked upside the head

My friend says there is nothing like having had a brush with the "big C" to re-shape your priorities and put things in perspective. Many people who have survived life threatening illnesses, car accidents, plane crashes, feel newly awake to life. Untimely deaths (but when are they ever timely?) can do this for us. Give us a smack upside the head - jolt us into the reality that this life is sacred, precious, fragile, fleeting, and on its way to ending -- for EVERY ONE OF US. Check out the frank, inspiring, poignant collection of poetry, prose and essays by a woman living with cancer, aptly called Slapped Awake. And just WAKE UP!

And from Rumi:

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

Natasha Richardson, in tribute

Natasha Richardson, 45 years old, died yesterday after a seemingly minor ski accident. The heartbreak and loss for her family and friends is larger than words. To those of us who merely admired her from afar, she is a tragic reminder of the fragility and preciousness of this life.

Death is something we pretend does not exist. We live carelessly, as if we will live forever, taking most of life's moment's for granted. Yet if there is one thing that is certain in life, it is that we shall all die, sooner or later. Death can be a teacher. Only in facing death, those of loved ones and our own, can we be free from the fear of it, and learn the lessons it has to teach about life. For me, the lesson is not to waste a minute to show my love, make other people happy, and work as hard as I can on my spiritual life. Because nothing else is coming with me at the end.

Here is a guide to a Buddhist meditation on death:

Death is definite

1: Death will definitely come, nothing can stop it.

2: Life span is continuously decreasing.

3: Death will come regardless of whether you have made time to practice or not.

Decision: It is definite that I will die and so I must practice dharma!

Time of death is uncertain

1: The life span of beings is this world is uncertain

Remaining nether day nor night,
This life is constantly slipping by
And never getting any longer.
Why wouldn't death come to one like me!

Shantideva

2: There are more factors conductive to death than life
a: External factors
b: Internal factors
c: Things that generally support life can become the cause of your demise

3: Our bodies are very fragile

Decision: As I am not sure when I will die, I must practice dharma now!

At the time of death, only the dharma can help

1: Friends & family can't help - you have to leave by yourself.

2: Your wealth can't help you - you can't take your money with you or buy a first class seat into the next life.

3: Your body cannot help you through the death process.

Decision: As nothing but the dharma can benefit me at my time of death. I must practice dharma purely!

If for only today, be loving and give each moment attention and care.

calling all angels

It is very common in yoga class (as in life) for one student to compare herself with another and feel like the other student has a much better practice. Students get down on themselves, no matter how much the teacher tries to impress upon them that yoga is not a competitive sport! I have been there, done that. When I first started practicing yoga regularly, I was often in a class with another woman, who I will call Arden, here. Arden's practice was amazing. She was beautiful, fluid, flexible, tall, gorgeous. Often, I didn't even want to practice -- just stare at her. Sometimes, I felt as though I would never be flexible enough, or strong enough, or "good" enough.

But my perception of Arden's practice was coming from me. I later learned that Arden was constantly frustrated with herself. She, in and of herself, did not radiate "perfect yoga practice." In fact, Arden's perception of her own practice was so different. Just as my perceptions of Arden were colored by my feelings and emotions, so were my perceptions of me. My perception of myself as not thin enough, flexible enough, or strong enough were not objective and couldn't be. And in the present moment, those perceptions were causing me to suffer because I believed I should be different. I was clinging to an ideal that I had created for myself.

If I were teaching myself then, with what I know now, here is the meditation I would lead myself through:

After finding a stable, grounded seat and focusing on the breath, imagine that you have a sun roof on the top of your head. Open the sun roof, and let your body start to absorb the blue sky -- a bright, robin's egg blue sky, that fills and suffuses your body with each breath. See your thoughts as clouds that pass through the blue sky. Innocuous passing thoughts are like fluffy, white clouds. Difficult lingering thoughts -- like anger, self-doubt, self-criticism -- are like storm clouds -- and the longer they linger, the grayer and thicker they are. Remember that even though storm clouds can obscure the blue sky, when they finally pass, the sky is there, still blue and clear and pristine. This is a metaphor for your true nature. Your true nature is clear and bright and expansive. Your thoughts sometimes obscure your true nature, but it is always there.

Visualize yourself as the kindest, most benevolent, loving, radiant person you can be. Come back to this vision time and time again throughout your practice. Remember that the goal of the practice of yoga is not to have a tight butt and thin thighs (although that can be a nice side benefit!), but to prepare you to be a spiritual warrior. We are happiest in the world when we are in touch with our highest selves. And when we look at others and see them as their highest selves, our joy is unlimited. Try to spend the rest of the day (the goal is an entire lifetime -- but better to start one day at a time), seeing yourself as an angel whose mission is to make others happy. Try to spend the rest of the day seeing everyone else around you as an angel. See that every action they take has the purpose of teaching you lessons on the path to your own enlightenment.

If you decide to give this meditation a try, let me know how it works for you!

nothing is for nothing

I have been thinking a lot about beginnings and endings. The economy has caused the end of so many careers, jobs and small business ventures. There is a lot of sadness, loss and worry going around. Thinking about this from a buddhist perspective gives me great comfort. In my own life, the "end" of things, whether relationships (my first marriage), careers (leaving theater for law school and leaving the law for motherhood and art), life-stages (my older daughter leaves for college next year), is often a time of great growth and self-realization. I learned more about myself and transformed my life to the life I truly want to live because of the "endings" I have experienced. And when you look closely at each experience, where was its "beginning," "middle," or "ending" anyway? There are just many millions of moments; the end of something may well be the beginning of something else.

While the "end" of something may feel sad and spur wondering of "what was the point anyway," the experience may result in transformation not just for you, but for those around you. I've been involved in a venture that looks like it's going to end. My whole family has invested a huge amount of time, money and emotion in it. Was it a waste? I don't think so. One participant gained confidence in her leadership abilities and tackled finances -- an area in which she had no previous experience. Another participant re-awakened skills and expertise she hadn't used in years, and helped many people with her vast knowledge, warmth and kindness. I learned about my strengths and my weaknesses. We all got to know each other and our families in ways we wouldn't have otherwise. So I think it was very valuable.

From one of my all time favorite books, The Phantom Tollbooth:

You may not see it now, but whatever we learn has a purpose and whatever we do affects everything and everyone else, if even in the tiniest way. Why, when a housefly flaps his wings, a breeze goes round the world; when a speck of dust falls to the ground, the entire planet weighs a little more; and when you stamp your foot, the earth movest slightly off its course. Whenever you laugh, gladness spreads like the ripples in a pond; and whenever you're sad, no one anywhere can be really happy. And it's much the same thing with knowledge, for whenever you learn something new, the whole world becomes that much richer...for what you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover all the wonderful secrets of tomorrow.

You must never feel badly about making mistakes as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.

Change is the most fundamental law of nature. As my teacher Kelly Morris says, the cause of something's death or demise lies in its birth. It is not change that brings unhappiness, but our feelings and associations about the changes, and our denial of the fact that everything will change. In the Hindu epic, The Mahabarata, Yudhisthira is asked: “What is the greatest wonder in this world?" He replies, "People see death all around them, but do not believe they're going to die themselves. This is the greatest wonder.” Every experience is arising and passing moment by moment. What is beginning in your ending?

if time is on my side, why can't I see it?

I've reconnected on Facebook with people I went to camp with in the early '70s. In reconnecting with some of these people, my perspectives on some key experiences I had during two formative summers have been shaken up, causing me to look at them in a completely different way. In doing so, I've changed how I think about the past. This has inevitably altered how I think about myself in the present, which will undoubtedly change my future. Time is a funny thing, and how we think about our past, present and futures is loaded with emotions, memories, and all sorts of imprints. Is there an objective way to look at the past, or even the present? How can there be? And where is the present moment anyway? The minute you try to look at it, it's in the past. Can we have a present moment without the existence of past moments? How can we have a future, without either the past or the present? But just try to find any one of them.

happiness

Today I woke up filled with joy. In my head, I was still singing Om Maitri, Om Karuna, Om Mudita, Om Upekshanam, which I’d been chanting when I fell asleep the night before. Walking my dog as the day dawned, I was smiling inside and out, and it seemed like everyone I encountered was filled with happiness too. Although the day was cloudy, I felt as though the sun was shining and I was filled with light. I felt so glad to be alive – grateful to my parents for giving me the gift of my life; grateful to my husband for giving me the space to walk in the morning; grateful to my children for sleeping in; grateful to everyone I know for making my life so rich and full.

From The Secret Garden, “The sun is shining–the sun is shining. That is the Magic. The flowers are growing–the roots are stirring. That is the Magic. Being alive is the Magic–being strong is the Magic. The Magic is in me–the Magic is in me. It is in me–it is in me. It’s in every one of us."

teachers everywhere

Yesterday morning I sat to meditate. I had a specific meditation in mind, but instead, my thoughts kept turning to a friend. I had seen her recently, and within a few moments, she expressed how much she "detests" one person, and how much she dislikes someone else. At the time, I was taken aback with the intensity she exuded just recalling these people. I didn't say anything at the time, but in meditation, my mind kept turning to this, and also how often she has assumed that people don't like or respect her. My friend is one of the most loving, compassionate, caring people I have ever met. She feels other people's pain intensely and will not stop at anything to help. But she also rides a roller coaster of anticipating and assuming the worst from people, loving some, hating others and always preparing to be disappointed. Her moods and outlook on life fluctuate constantly. I was reminded of a story:

A little girl and her mother were walking in the mountains.
Suddenly, the girl falls, hurts herself and screams,
“AAAhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”
To her surprise, she hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:”AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”
Curious, the girl yells: “Who are you?”
She receives the answer: “Who are you?”
And then the girl screams to the mountain: “You’re Stupid”
The voice answers: “You’re Stupid”
Frustrated at the response, the girl screams: “I Hate You”
She receives the answer: “I Hate You”
She looks to her mother and asks: “What’s going on?”
The mother smiles and says: “My daughter, pay attention.”
The mother screams: “You are a champion!”
The voice answers: “You are a champion!”
The mother screams: “I love you!”
The voice answers: “I love you!”
The girl is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the mother explains: “People call this ECHO,
but really this is LIFE. It gives you back
everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.”
If you want more love in the world,
create more love in your heart.
If you want people to respect you, respect them.
This relationship applies to everything,
in all aspects of life.

The echo taught the girl; my friend teaches me.

stop pimping your ride

One of my teachers, Kelly Morris, has meditation and yoga classes online that you can download for free. I was listening to one of them the other day, where she asked you to consider where you go when life is difficult. What do you turn to when you're upset, stressed, angry, depressed, lonely, sad. Where do you go for refuge? You turn to the police or the fire department if you've been robbed or your house is burning down. What do you turn to when you're having a mental or emotional emergency?

For some reason, I thought about the MTV show, "Pimp My Ride." If you haven't had the pleasure, someone with a run down car in poor condition gets picked to have his or her car "pimped," which means that the car gets spiffed up with a fancy paint job, hub caps, seat covers, maybe a new engine, flat screen t.v., the works. At the end of the show, the car is revealed to its owner, as well as all the details of the renovation and the custom features. I thought - this is what we're doing to ourselves all the time -- glamming up our exteriors with fancy cosmetics, clothes, obsessive exercise, jewelry. We're pimping our ride. But the problem is, the driver is the same. None of the "stuff" affects the inner person, even if it seems to temporarily. Just like the same person is going to step into the pimped up automobile and drive back into his or her same life.

Consider instead, the words of the 8th Century Indian-Buddhist scholar, Master Shantideva:
All the happiness there is in this world
Arises from wishing others to be happy,
And all the suffering there is in this world
Arises from wishing only oneself to be happy.

Or from the musical, No No Nanette:
I want to be happy
But I won't be happy
Till I make you happy too.

Or heed the great Jimmy Durante:
Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy,
And you will be happy, too.

Wisdom is everywhere!

but does it work?

Yes! I have been trying to see my suffering, broken-legged, down-in-the-dumps husband as a holy being for a week now, and so much has changed. Not only have I had much more compassion and patience for him -- helping me to feel privileged (rather than oppressed) to take care of him, but also he has become much more lively, energetic, and helpful. This morning, he actually woke up early to make my youngest her lunch for school and volunteered to hobble around the corner to pick her up at 3PM. Plus, today when I ran in and out in between meetings, he asked if there was anything he could do for me -- make me tea in a to-go cup, anything! He has been doing the laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher, and repaired a broken cabinet. To quote Motel in Fiddler on the Roof, "wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles!" Change yourself, and you will change your world.

what wouldn't I do for Jesus

My husband has been home with his broken ankle since January 24 and we have 9 more days (but who's counting) to go until his x-ray when, hopefully, he finds out that he is healed and can get back to work. He can't drive and he (and I) am sorely missing the endorphins he's not getting sitting on our couch. He was initially very depressed about his injury, and the more he sunk into inertia, the more irritated I became. This didn't serve either of us. He was mad at me for not being more compassionate and I was mad at him for wallowing in his pain. Since January 24, his injury and our little pas de deux of emotion has been my primary yoga practice. I now share with you the technique that has helped me most. It has been to try to see him (I kid you not) as Jesus. After all, if Jesus were lying on my couch with a broken ankle, I would be happy to wait on him, bring him food, find the remote for him, even make phone calls for him (this was the request that caused me to search for higher ground!). Even a nice Jewish girl like me would feel honored to serve Jesus if he decided to recuperate chez moi. So when someone makes what feels like unreasonable requests to you, don't ask WWJD, ask what wouldn't I do for Jesus. And if he doesn't inspire you to be your highest, most patient self, try Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., or Mother Teresa. I've tried them all and they all work!

life is amazing and no-one's happy

There's a video clip from the Conan O'Brien Show circulating around Facebook. The comedian Louis C.K. talks about how we have the most amazing quality of life and still no one is happy. (Watch it here.) It's a really funny clip with a great message. But the problem is not just that we're all spoiled, self-indulgent and ungrateful about the miraculous technology all around us. The problem is believing that this stuff will ever make us truly happy to begin with. What makes it hard is that "stuff" is so cheaply and easily available to our culture. Haven't we all gotten these rushes of what seems like happiness from the newest acquisition? Our children are mired in it. We are "in love" with our i-Phones or Priuses, or our child "needs" the newest Webkinz. But then the "thing" breaks, or you don't get service, or you just get bored, and, like with any high, you crash, and the "thing" that brought you joy now brings you disappointment and pain. And it's back to "regular" life. So maybe you buy the newest thing and get back on the roller coaster. It's hard to escape this cycle. We are bombarded all the time with the message that shopping will make us happy. After all, in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy of 9/11, our President's message to us was to go shopping. And now, we are being urged to go shopping to save our economy. But ultimately, that cannot be the answer. To paraphrase Lama Marut, among the most revolutionary actions we could take in a society like ours is really no action at all. Just stop. Don’t buy any more stuff. Remind yourself that the "stuff" won't make you happy. Just be content.