who's fault is it anyway?

We all have people in our lives who judge us, or see bad motivations or intent in our actions. I have had people hold me in the highest regard and then feel deeply disappointed when I don't meet their expectations. It is so easy to internalize their expectations and disappointment; to waver between striving, feeling good, and then plummeting into self-doubt and low self-esteem, or to feel angry at them for making me feel this way. I have to remind myself that if I careen through all these emotions during occasional encounters with such a person, imagine what it must feel like to be that person. Because people who are hard on others -- who default to feeling let-down, deceived, misled, disappointed -- are hard on themselves all the time. Chances are they are always efforting -- trying their hardest, never relaxing, and always feeling like they are not good enough. Whatever suffering I'm experiencing by occasionally feeling their expectations and disappointment is nothing compared to what they are inflicting on themselves.

It's hard to see it this way, especially when I feel hurt and wrongly thought of. But the "me" that feels wounded and misunderstood only exists in my mind. And the "me" that disappointed only exists in the other person's mind. There is no objective "me." If I can hold onto the emptiness of this, and just always try to be my highest self, I can have love and compassion rather than wanting to get as far away as I can.