waves

There's nothing like a walk to stimulate, elucidate and placate (Walt Frazier, do you read me?) the restless mind. Watching my dog play in the dog park -- sniffing and greeting dogs she plays with daily as if she's meeting them for the first time -- made me wonder what it is about human consciousness that makes our mind so restless in the present moment, but so comfortable bathing in the past and dreaming of the future? The moment we feel any happiness or discomfort in "what is," we're off and running after "what could be" or "what was." Why are we made this way?

I think it is no accident that I am reconnecting with people from long ago at the same time that something I've been involved in for many years is unraveling. In law school, you learn about the principle of "proximate cause." The law recognizes that there is not one distinct cause of an accident or injury, but a chain of events giving rise to it. However, for purposes of assessing liability, you look for the proximate, or most direct cause of the event. Our lives are a long chain of proximate causes. Upon reflection, I can see that the events that lead to and flowed from the break-up of my first marriage were proximate causes of the relationships that followed, including my marriage to my second husband. There is no event in my life distinct from the events that preceded it. The events in our lives are like waves in the ocean -- ebbing and flowing, but always born from and resolving back to a bigger body of water. Sometimes the connections only become apparent in hindsight, but no doubt they are there. To relate back to yesterday's post, all we can do is remain open and present to "what next?"

A poem I wrote in primary school:

WAVES
lapping gently upon the sand
never bothering to go far out on the land
sea-glass, driftwood, and shells you bring in
never bothering to see what is there
just quietly, endlessly lapping
never stopping.